What You Say and How You Say it Counts
It’s well known that parents are the primary influencers on their children’s lives: they teach by modeling things like kindness, social skills and problem solving. They nurture their kids’ interests and strengths and help them cope with life’s challenges. Parents serve as life-long coaches to their children; and, as such, many coaches’ tips for effective interaction with their athletes can also be applied to parents and children.
As coaches and parents, how we speak to youth and young athletes is just as important as what we say. Like parents, coaches can have a profound impact on their athletes, and this influence and the power of words can promote healthy development. From a coaches’ perspective, the following points and dialogue box provide guidance on how to approach a discussion on healthy living as parents:
- Create a positive environment that de-emphasizes appearance and weight. Try not to say things like, “You look fit” or “You want to be thinner?” Instead, focus on comments like, “Your jump was strong” or “Your endurance is improving.”
- Approach them with an air of concern and care, not criticism.
- Identify your own issues with weight and the culture and how this may be impacting the team or classroom. Be a good role model and practice moderate nutrition and exercise habits.
- Diminish focus on attributes, like body shape, that may be out of the student’s control. Encourage them to accept their body type and embrace a variety of shapes. It’s important to teach them to tolerate normal growth. Body changes that include a natural widening for 8-12 year old girlsls and 10-14 year old boys are necessary to support the 2nd biggest growth spurt in life through puberty.
- Nurture positive internal attributes and skills versus superficial qualities. Nothing is more important than mental and physical well-being. Focus on attributes that are in the student’s control.
- Athletic, social and academic performance
- Stamina, endurance, strength and flexibility
- Skills and aptitudes
- Physical and mental achievements
What tips do you have to help encourage your kids to have a more positive sense of self? Share below in the comments.
Kimberly Wright Cover wrote this post for Together Counts on behalf of A Chance to Heal. Kimberly Wright Cover, MS, NCC, RD, LDN is a sports nutrition therapist who generally works with younger athletes and their families. She has worked at the Sports Medicine and Performance Center at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia for the past 12 years. For over 20 years, she has counseled competitive athletes in a variety of sports. When not working with young athletes in the clinical setting, she researches, develops and conducts group presentations on mindfulness, sports nutrition and eating and exercise disturbances across the nation.